Imagine …

by Samuel Z. Anvil

Last week a Kasam missle fired by Palestinian terrorists in Gaza (a Palestinian-controlled area) killed two toddlers in the Israel town of Sderot. In response, Israel sent a force into Gaza and killed dozens of terrorists and their accomplices, including a number of UN employees.
Imagine if Israel were to adopt John Kerry’s approach to defense (http://www.cnn.com/2004/ALLPOLITICS/10/04/kerry.global/index.html):
“But I can do a better job of protecting America's security because the test that I was talking about was a test of legitimacy, not just in the globe, but elsewhere.”
This is what Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon would have done if he were following the Kerry doctrine.

1. Call President Jacques Chirac of France and tell him how upset he was, of course waiting until after President Chirac finished his croissant so as not to further strain the Israel-France relationship.
2. Hold a press conference and ask CNN to mention that there were Israeli victims too in the “cycle of violence”.
3. Withdraw Israeli troops from Israel and send them to Afghanistan to fight the “real war against terrorism”, and while they are there, to help OJ find the “real killer”.
4. Throw his military medals into the sea and accuse Israeli solders of raping Palestinian women.
5. Ask Kofi Anan to call an emergency session of the UN Security Council to please allow Israel to use the “terrorist” word.
6. Swear that he did not have sex with … sorry, that was the Clinton Doctrine.
7. Reduce Israel’s defense budget so as not to further enflame Palestinian public opinion.
8. Invite Yasser Arafat to a “hug the tensions away” sensitivity breakfast.
9. Find out what people are thinking “not just in the globe, but elsewhere” by contacting the little green men on Mars.
10. Ask German Prime Minister Schroeder to forgive the Jews for all the terrible things they said about German leaders during World War II and for Israel’s negligence in allowing the Munich massacre to take place on German soil.
11. Send his sister to Israeli expatriate communities and urge them to overthrow the Israeli government.
12. Ask Yasser Arafat for permission to breathe Palestinian air.
13. Demand that people stop questioning his patriotism.
14. And tomorrow, define a new "Sharon Doctrine".